Note: So, the last entry I posted was almost two months ago. Phew, guess I have been a bit busy. Full-time projects can be productive and fun, but boy do they take up a lot of time. But, I am back and will continue my posting schedule uninterrupted, barring further projects, beginning with the E3 2019 review. With that being said, I will provide an alert if such an issue occurs again.

The Debut and Demise of E3 2019

Generally speaking, my E3 2019 review is this: It has been quite the show this year.

… If we are going by just a couple of conferences.

Overall, the show was a fair, “meh,” with just a couple of presentations shining. Microsoft’s press conference was great (LEGO Forza Horizon, anyone?), Square Enix’s was stunning (if you’re a JRPG fan, anyway! So close to Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers!), and Nintendo’s was hype-generating – Breath of the Wild 2!? Banjo in Smash!? As well as the Dragon Quest protagonists!? Oh shit!

With that all being said, E3 2019 was a resounding “okay,” with Sony missing. It just didn’t feel the same, you know? Well, maybe next year.

So, what makes a great recipe for E3? What creates that fragrant whiff, that beastly sizzle? What turns up the heat and broils the audience with its mouthfeel? Well, this is what we plan to answer – in the format of a recipeh. We’re going to provide the perfect recipe for an astounding E3, using this year’s Nintendo’s and Square Enix’s press conferences as case studies.

To quote a famous man: “I’ve come up with a new recipeh!”

Recipe: Le plus délicieux divertissement Expo Casserole

Ingredients

  • 100s of pre-E3 marketing ploys.
  • Several~ hints leaking from developers (true leaks are kept to a minimum). Examples may include a small image, a quick tweet, etc.
  • At least one full orchestra – Orchestras are always welcome. Do not substitute for pop-based concerts featuring popular artists, for it will create an unsuitable, unpalatable dish.
  • Just a few charismatic presenters – please, do not use “hype-men” for the presentation. Hype-men generate hype in the same way the artificial vanilla extract is tossed into a cake: both methods can be purely laughable.
Courtesy of Slim Tengi
  • Many, many instances of gameplay footage – Unveiling the game’s story using FMV graphics is alright, but gameplay needs to be the forefront. Shave the FMV until the gameplay is exposed.
  • At least 20 demos – Demos should be made available for all games, regardless of the game’s progress. If the game’s concept is only on the table, brush it into the trashcan, and replace with a more suitable ingredient. A game should at least be 25 percent ready before it is eligible for taste testing.

Directions

This is the perfect appetizer size.
  1. Preheat gaming fans with over 375 tweets that hint toward a well-desired game, a new, interesting IP, or an unexpected but surely wanted title. For instance, Square Enix tweet several tweets regarding Final Fantasy VII: Remake’s appearance at E3, generating hype. Would we see Tifa!? How much more would we see of this title? (Spoiler alert: We totally did)
  2. Begin the dish by mixing together the marketing ploys and several leaks. These leaks should preferably be intentional marketing tactics, but no worries, unintentional leaks can work too. Just be careful to use fewer unintentional leaks compared to purposeful leaks, for you could spoil your recipe. Several leaks could include the runtime for Nintendo’s press conference or even vague happenstances (“fans will be thrilled with what’s in store at the Nintendo Direct”). Please do not include prominent leaks such as Keanu Reeves or Seiken Densetsu 3 coming to the west.
  3. Fold in a fantastic introduction – this should preferably be an orchestra playing iconic tunes from particular series. As mentioned, do not substitute the orchestra with a hype-heightening pop concert. You will cause a flattened, tasteless experience that would make even your grandmother cringe.
  4. Spray your mixture with your charismatic presenters. Remember, these presenters must be charismatic and true – to share their love for the game, at least the fans – not artificially speaking, such as what you’ll find at EA’s E3 show. You just need an ounce of Doug Bowser, Ikumi Nakamura, Keanu Reeves, or that man who illustrated the Final Fantasy VII demo.
  5. Knead your mixture with several, intriguing instances of gameplay footage, not just graphical fidelity. The gameplay is what many seek. See: The Order 1886. Make sure you knead the mixture for the perfect amount of time – not so long that it will cause a dense substance that is hard for many to swallow. Bake the mixture to increase hype. Oh, and before baking, throw in a couple of surprises coughBanjoandBotW2cough. Perhaps release dates that are even the same day or in the near future. The culinary arts isn’t about predictability, after all.
  6. Finally, with your presentation finished, invite family, friends, and a slew of random attendees to test the game with exclusive demos. Relish the look on their faces as they enjoy your wonderful masterpiece!

Yields: Hundreds of millions of hyped fans, potentially-pleased investors, and thriving, happy community.

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